Cheating Spouse & Matrimonial Infidelity

You’ve seen the signs, and your mind is putting the pieces together. Your spouse has been coming home late or keeps long hours under the pretext of work. When your spouse comes home, after a silent dinner, he or she hops online and dismisses your questions with weird excuses… If you’re worrying that your honey is up to something funny, and you want to find out, here are some approaches that might just help confirm your suspicions.

And if you do decide to investigate, be prepared to deal with what you find, good or bad.

MVD International’s, a service company which offers the services of a private investigator to spy on your unsuspecting cheating partner. Does he come back later than usual? Does he act weird? Does he ask for more ‘boys time’ recently? Spend less sleepless nights and call MVD – for they will ‘catch your spouse even if he or she is creeping around with someone from the Antarctic’. We know about the law and its infringements, and we promise to provide our clients with legal proof.

The concept of hiring a private detective to catch your cheating partner is age old. Sherlock Holmes in ‘The Adventures of the Retired Colourman’ written early in the 20th century, was hired by a filthy old man who wanted to catch his cheating wife. Movies, songs, and other pop literatures indirectly teach us ways to catch the man who cheats. So what’s new that allows MVD to cross countries and cultural boundaries with its Catch Cheating Spouse™?

Perhaps the fact that us human beings are always insecure inside, that no matter how technology advances and ways change – catching a cheating spouse will always be a timeless need.

With the disclaimer of ‘every case is unique, accompanied by unique signs’, here are some seemingly trivial signs that your spouse might be cheating on you. While you know the ‘I am out with a friend’ sign by heart, sometimes we miss out subconscious gestures that might lead us to signs that he is cheating:

1. “The bowtie you gave me? Errr..I don’t know where I put it, actually, dear..”

He used to treasure your gifts and wore them although his friends gave him a one-of-a-kind stare. Now, he tends to forget where he put the things you give. He could be badly distracted or swamped with work or something or someone else tickles his fancy. Men are not wired to multitask, so it is obvious when something has taken his attention away from you.

1. He’s awake, or online, but not talking to you

You see him online on Gtalk, Skype, Whatsapp, Facebook. He even tweets. But he has not talked to you the whole day. Although it is not his official duty to contact you whenever he is online – there is an unwritten concession that he should buzz you, at least once. If this pattern is unusual and it repeats, you might want to intervene and find out what he is up to.

1. “Maybe your parents are right, a partner of the same race is better”

What was not a problem up to two months ago now becomes one. Your religion, his race, your strict parents, the list goes on. Most of the time when this happens out of the blue, it could mean he is comparing you to a new ‘candidate’.

1. “HAHA! Wasn’t that the funniest joke ever?!”

It was. But the problem is, you have told him that joke before – but he ignored it. If a lot of new things suddenly tickles his fancy, especially things that you know he would not even bother listening – you should shoot away. Find out who or what causes him to suddenly care about culinary, gadgets, or whatnot.

1. “You’re tired of me? Go ahead and leave me”

If he says this, he’s either reached his breaking point – or he has someone else in mind that he thinks could be a better match than you are.

Some of the other tell tales of a cheating spouse

1. “I love you but I’m not in love with you”

If you hear these words, a big warning bell should go off. This is one of the most consistent things a cheating spouse will say. Your spouse may have a deep, loving bond with you but, intense feelings of passion can override the bond with you and cause your spouse to lose sight of his/her true feelings. The cheating spouse will develop what I call hormone – induced amnesia. The surging hormones and passion they feel in their new relationship can cause some very skewed thinking.

1. “We are just friends”

This is also another very predictable statement that will come from a cheating spouse. If your spouse is spending more and more time with this new “friend”; then there is probably more to it than mere friendship. Your spouse may feel they have a lot in common with this person, that this person understands them and things they are going through. Whatever the reasons for the friendship, it’s a big warning sign and one you should take seriously.

1. “A sudden need for privacy”

If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention cause something is probably up. He/she may start password protecting computer activity. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse. Big warning sign!

1. “I need some space to figure out my feelings”

Men and women who are involved with someone else will request more space, time alone or away from the family. They may say it is due to confusion over their feelings or stress at work. This can be a sign that there is someone else and the spouse is trying to figure out ways to have more freedom.

1. “Regular work habits change”

Working late, going to work at odd hours or, putting in more time than is normal on work related issues can be indications that a spouse is cheating.

1. Spending a large amount of time on the computer

In today’s world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn’t even have to leave their home. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating sites and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in emotional affairs. If your spouse is online more than usual, hanging out in chat rooms and visiting pornographic websites then you have reason to be alarmed.

1. Secretive phone calls and more time spent on the phone

Emotional affairs occur primarily via the phone, especially cell phones. If you find your spouse hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might want to check your phone records.

1. Behavior that just doesn’t add up.

Not being where he/she was expected to be. Missing time they can’t explain. Money that isn’t accounted for. Receipts for things you don’t have. Missing clothing. Clothing that does not belong to your family. Being caught in little lies about the details of the day. If something is off with their behavior, you should suspect cheating.

1. Your own fears and suspicions

If you find yourself looking for excuses for your spouse’s behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat then that is a warning sign. Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong. If you suspect your spouse might be cheating on you, do some investigating and then talk to him/her about what you’ve found. Do it in a way that is calm and courteous. Ask for honesty. Be prepared for lies. It is a sad fact that people having affairs become excellent liars. People who never told a lie before in their lives. Trust your gut instinct but get hard, cold proof also.

If Your Spouse Cheated Will Your Marriage Survive?

Infidelity doesn’t mean your marriage must come to an end. Trust has been lost, the betrayal is emotionally painful but, if there is a good foundation and friendship, you can save your marriage.